You'd Think It'd Be Easy
by Huntress2
Summary: This started out as just a little, slightly depressing fic about Lantis thinking of Hikaru, and is now going to be a full blown story. Please read and tell me what you think.
1. Prolog

Authors Notes: Heh, just a little thing I wrote when I was having a not-so-happy moment. It doesn't name names, but it's Lantis thinking about Hikaru. Please tell me what you think of it, k?  
  
You'd Think It'd Be Easy:  
  
You'd think it would be easy to not think of someone. To just push them so far back in your mind, they don't come up. But it's hard. Oh sure, I can go on with out thinking about her, but as soon as I see a sunny day, it reminds me of her smile, the flowers remind me of her pretty face, and, oh god, the birds, I don't even try. Every bird, every sound they make, anything at all to DO with birds makes me think of her, of the time we spend in the garden.  
It's been three years since she left. THREE years since I have seen her face, heard her voice, watched to smile. Three incredibly, horribly lonesome years. It scares me, to think of her sometimes. I get to thinking about what might have been, what could have happened if she didn't leave. Would she be with me? Would I be holding her right now? Oh lord how I wish I knew how it felt to hold her, to kiss her cheek, to walk hand in hand with her.   
But it isn't to be. Why do I torment my self, thinking about her? Why? Because I can't help it. Because every waking minute, and even through my sleep I see her, I'm reminded. I just pray, some how, she knows I love her.   
I've told her of course, but three years can do things to a memory, make promises fade, and memories distant. I pray she also still loves me, that three years hasn't made her love change, hasn't made her feel that she doesn't want to wait anymore. To make her feel that waiting for something that might not happen at all, is too much.   
No, it isn't easy to shut your heart up. It's impossible.   



	2. Tokyo

AN: Alright, lots of people thought I should turn my "You'd Think It'd Be Easy" into a full out chapter story, so here is, the first chapter. It took me a while before I wrote it, and so, it's probably really crappy from the months my brain has been rotting away. Keep in mind this is my first edit, I didn't re-read/re-write it, and so it's probably horrible. Comment on anything from spelling, to grammer, to just saying "This sux, re-write it!" I would like to know what you think.  
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Chapter 1  
Hikaru  
Tokyo  
  
"You're doing it again." It was said with such helplessness and annoyances, I looked up at the speaker in shock.   
  
"Doing what?" Until just then, I'd forgotten where I was. It was lunchtime, and I was sitting with Umi, and Fuu on the blanket we'd borrowed from my father.  
  
"You're thinking about Lantis again. God Hikaru, it's been thee years, when are you going to stop getting that wistful look every time a bird chirps, or it rains! I mean, we're trying to have a picnic if you couldn't tell." Umi's voice was so stubborn I would have laughed except she was right. It had been three years, and I still treated it as if it was yesterday. I sighed and glanced down at the red checkered pattern on the old blanket and played with a strand of hair.   
  
"Oh, don't bother her so Umi-san. You get that look some times too," Fuu remarked, her calm sensibleness just what I needed in this situation. It was not the first time we'd had this very conversation, about Cephiro, or what we had each left behind. "We all feel the pain of leaving them, we just express it in different ways."  
  
"Thank you, Fuu-chan." I gave her what I hoped was a grateful smile, and tried to brighten my mood, for Umi's sake. "I'll try and be better, ok Umi-chan? I really will try to have a good time."  
  
Umi nodded, but she's told me a lot over the past few years how much I've changed since the trip to Cephiro. That I used to be the happy, hyper, glass-is-half-full type, and now was taking on the serious, melancholy of a lost lover. Umi seemed satisfied with that, and set about finishing our lunch.  
  
***  
I walked with Umi and Fuu from the park, first to Fuu's house, then to Umi's. Mine was the last, but I was glad. The sun was just starting to set, and Tokyo took on a calm, quite tone that made me smile. Halfway to my house, I caught Tokyo Tower out of the corner of my mind, and a flooding of emotion and memories swept me away. I had to go there, just once, just one more time before I went home.   
  
On my way there, I realized with a shock, that it was the three year anniversary of our arrival home. "So Umi was right when she said three years." It made me laugh a little, thinking how Umi, who'd been chiding me, had kept track of the days and knew exactly when three years was. I laughed a little, and skipped the steps two at a time, boarded the elevator, and ascended the tower.  
  
It was dark when I reached the top, the sun fully set. To keep a nice view, the towers lights where dimmed, and it was easy to look across the vast Tokyo City. It took my breath away, seeing the city all light up, twinkling like a gem.   
  
I walked to the window, and stood, looking out. I softly reached up and touched the chain around my neck, the amulet resting against my skin, and closed my eyes. I didn't know I was crying, till I reached up and felt my cheeks where wet. I opened my eyes, and started to dry my face. 'Oh Lantis, I'm sorry, I truly am sorry. If only I could see you, just once…' My thoughts died as softly as they had come. But as I turned to go, a bright light hit me full in the face. I raised my arm, the light hurting my eyes. "What fool is turning on the bright over head lights at this time of…ah!" I was falling, the floor gave out and I was falling. "God, not an earth quake!" The last thing I remember seeing before the world went black, was a brilliant sunlight, and a glittering ocean 


	3. Sunlight

AN: ok, this is a pathetically short and crappy chapter, I might even take it down, except that I wanted the story to go "One chapter about Hikaru, Next about Lantis, then about Hikaru" etc. Read it, don't read it, I dun care, but I'll probably have the next one out before this day is threw.  
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Chapter 2  
Lantis  
Cephiro  
  
"Arg…" I mumbled as I threw a pillow over my eyes. "Damned sunlight! Ruining everything." Now, if I closed my eyes, and thought very hard, I could just picture her face, as it would look three years after she'd left. There, her hair, her eyes…  
  
"Lantis! Get out of bed you lazy giant! You're to report to Clef immediately, or have you forgotten your duties to Cephiro?" Eagles voice was very disturbing, but had the proper effect, diminishing my last vision before sunlight took control. Again a banging on the door and a shout to get up and move.   
  
"I'm up, I'm up! Pick on some one else!" I sat up, feet resting on the floor, hair falling in my eyes. Same old day, same old morning, everything had been so damned SAME since she'd left, it was making my head spin! One could forget it was today, and not yesterday, or the day before, for all the difference each day made.  
  
Dressed and ready, I reported to Clef in the main hall, only to find Ferio instead.   
"Where's Clef?" I asked, my voice not sounding as concerned as I thought. For the past three years, I'd reported to Clef, and only Clef. The man just never missed a day.  
  
"He's tending some one ill. He didn't give me a name though, so I'm as clueless as you. He said to tell you that you're to visit the neighboring town and help with their monster problem. Seems they've got a nasty one that they just can't deal with" Ferio made a disgusted noise, knowing that, even after three years, the people of Cephiro couldn't get it into their heads that THEY where the ones making those monsters they hated so much.  
  
"Ok, so I'm to go and, dispose of it? And then…" I knew we where running out of bread, and it was the town that usually supplied the castle with food now a days.   
  
"And then you are to continue to the next town, and see if you can't settled the differences the two, ah, land holders seem to be having." Ferio's eyes where brimming with humor as I made a grumble of complaint.   
  
"Fine then, I'm off. Tell Clef he'd better hurry with that ill person, I wanted to talk to him," I strode out of the great doors and into the sunlight, just like every other day, and summoned my horse. It was a good six miles to the town, and I was in no hurry. If I was careful, I could see her face in the clouds, and it felt like she was nearer. 


	4. Cephiro

AN: Third chapter, I like it MUCH better than I liked the 2nd chapter. There's a little part in Third Person, other than that, it's a bit different style than the 1st and 2nd chapter, but I still like it. Tell me what you think.  
  
Chapter 3  
Hikaru  
Cephiro  
  
Some one was talking, close, someone… I knew? No, yes, wait, that can't be right, I'm hearing… Clef?? But, Clef is in Cephiro? I must have hit my head… no, there it is again, it IS Clef! It has to be! No one else uses that magic…or maybe, is this a dream? But, all I did was go to Tokyo Tower, just once, just to remember!!  
  
***  
"She's stirring, hand me that cloth" Clefs hand darted out behind him, and Caldina hurriedly handed him the warmed cloth. Clef laid the warmed cloth on Hikaru's forehead, and checked her wrist pulse again. "Her pulse is normal, that's good." He sighed, and sank into the near-by chair, the momentary panic that they'd lose her, was gone, and he was feeling it.   
  
"So… when do we tell Lantis?" was all Caldina said.  
  
***  
This is so odd? How could I be hearing Clef, and… yes, that was Caldina! What has happened? I shifted, and heard felt some one grab my wrist, checking my pulse. Then my breath caught in my throat at Caldina's words. "So…when do we tell Lantis." Lantis… was I REALLY back in Cephiro??? Could I open my eyes, and look into the faces of Caldina, Clef and… Lantis? Oh how I'd dreamed, how I'd wished… did I dare? I did. Any chance this was real I had to take.   
  
The light hurt, hurt so bad I cried out and flailed my arms to cover my sensitive eyes. "Where…where am I?" My voice sounded distant, and hoarse, as if I hadn't talked in a long time.  
  
"She's awake! Caldina, get something for her to eat." Clef's suddenly worried face filled my vision, and I nearly cried in joy.  
  
"Am I really back? Clef, you're here, right? This isn't a dream, is it?" Oh god, if this was a dream don't wake me up!  
  
"Welcome back Hikaru of the Magic Knights. You are indeed in Cephiro, and no, this is no dream," Clefs voice was no longer worried, but light, and happy, but… with a hidden question.   
  
"What is it Clef? What's wrong?" I could tell from the way he looked at me, that it had something to do with me, and I wanted to know.   
  
"Nothing is wrong, I'm just… perplexed as to how you got back here." By that time, Caldina had returned, and handed a steaming bowl of, what I guessed was, soup to Clef. "Here, eat this soup, it will help you regain your strength. You've been since last night, and it's not past noon." Clef held the bowl, and I eagerly ate the contents, hunger over riding my sense of taste.  
  
When I'd finished, I felt well enough to sit up straight, and lean against the headboard. "Where's Lantis?" Wouldn't he WANT to see me? Didn't he still love me? He said he did, before he left but… but that was three years ago. I swallowed my fear, and glanced around at Clef, then Caldina.  
  
"Lantis is out at the moment. I'm sure you can see him when he gets back." Caldina said, eyes shinning with joy. "We didn't want to bring him when you first came, because you where in shock, and we didn't know if you'd live…" Clef gave her a hard stare, and Caldina shut up.  
  
"I… I nearly DIED?!" That shocked me more than being back in Cephiro. "And you didn't want to tell Lantis, because it would have been better for him to just think I was still in Tokyo??" That didn't make sense, but, well, I guess it did. "Will you, will you send him in, as soon as he gets back, even if I'm not awake?" I just realized how tired I was. I guess, jumping back to Cephiro, and going into shock tired a person.  
  
Clef nodded, and stood, motioning for Caldina to leave. "I'll send him in, so he will be here when you wake. Now go to sleep, you need to rest." They left, and right before I slipped into sleep, I pictured Lantis' hansom face, looking into mine when I woke. 


	5. Midafternoon

AN: Sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. Had a bunch of issues come up (one of which being a busted computer) ok, Read on, and enjoy (I hope)  
  
Chapter Four  
Lantis  
Cephiro  
  
Sighing, I reached up and rubbed my temples in an attempt to thwart the on coming head ache. Finally, having enough of this bickering raised my head and shoulders fuller. I'd found that my height could usually intimidate most people, and was hoping for that reaction.   
  
"That is quite enough gentlemen," I got the desired effect and grinned to myself, having the complete attention of the two men in front of me. "You, Narron, will tend your own fields and land, and you, Kernal, will stay on your side. -No I do not care that this land, yes, this land right here," I stomped the ground hard with my foot to demonstrate a point, "is free to anyone, you two will not have it. It's to remain…free." Yes, free sounded good enough for now.   
  
The two landowners glared daggers at each other, and stalked off, leaving me to find my own way back. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and glanced up. Half the day was gone, but I could head back. Though what good that will do, I didn't know. There was nothing for me there. Of course, there was nothing for me out -here- either.   
  
"I'm hunger anyways." And that decided it. I turned and stalked off to the castle.  
  
***  
The moment I entered, I caught an air of something new. There was a feeling, a sense, that something was… different. Not necessarily bad. Just… different. So caught up was I, that I nearly didn't catch Clef walking off through the hall until he'd nearly rounded the corner.   
  
"Clef, wait!" I shouted after him, and sprinted down the hall to catch up to the mage.   
  
He turned and looked relieved, yes, relieved to see me. Relieved? Why would he be relieved?  
  
"Ah, good, Lantis, you're back. I have some, er, news for you. Please follow me," Though thoroughly curious and confused, I shrugged and followed. We twisted down through the castle and as we walked, I began recognizing things. Yes, that plant, that was familiar, and that window, the way it was set, that was familiar. Why, I haven't been down these halls in YEARS, in fact I haven't been down here for... three years. Three. That number haunted me. When we stopped in front of a door-HER door-I heart was beating so fast and my mind was working over time to stop tears. I never cried, well, never in -font- of some one, but right now, I was dangerously close.  
  
"Why…why did you bring me here Clef?" I stressed the here, and gave him a look that told him exactly how emotional this hall made me. Clef turned reassuring and comforting eyes at me and motioned to the door.   
  
"I should have told you last night, but it was so uncertain that she'd be well at all, I didn't want to give you false hope." Her? Had he said her? Did he mean HER? Her as in my Hikaru? How could he mean Hikaru? She was gone, back to Tokyo, forever away from me.   
  
Tears nearly choked me, but by some miracle, I kept them from falling.  
  
"Her?" I repeated, and I knew I hadn't masked the hope and emotion filling me. At Clef's nod, my heart leapt and my eyes locked on the door. Could she… could she -really- be behind that door? So close? I looked at Clef and he nodded again, stepped aside, and turned the handle, then moved so I could enter. "She's probably asleep, but she wanted you to see her as soon as you got back."  
  
My throat was so tight; I couldn't have answered if I'd tried. Softly, so as not to wake her, I slipped into the room.   
  
There. Right there. Right on that bed that had been the Magic Knights bed their last time in Cephiro, lay the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. With out Clef there, I didn't stop two tears rolling down my cheeks as I walked over and knelt beside her. She was sleeping, sleeping so soundly, so softly, I was scared to move, to breath, lest she wake and vanish. My hand moved up, as if on it's own, to caress her cheek and hair.   
  
I jerked my hand back as she shifted, my heart pounding in my chest. There, her eyes moved. Could she be waking? Slowly, as if I myself were in a dream, Hikaru opened her eyes and looked into mine. 


End file.
